First of all, before we get to the celebratory portion of this piece, I just wanted to get this off my chest; did the internet as a whole not agree to protect Britney and let her live her best life following her triumph over her conservatorship? Because I thought that was the deal. Instead, Britney’s life continues to be ‘like-like-like a circus (uh-huh.)’
Let Her Find Her Peace
Not only are people continuously hounding her Instagram and leaving her ‘toxic (toxic, toxic)’ comments for the way she’s managing her Instagram, exactly how she wants – I’m sorry that your fave has an intensely curated and filtered feed, and aren’t comfortable showing you what they’re actually like – not everybody fits the bad bitch genre.
But now, she officially has a stalker.
… or at least that’s what it seems like. Her ex-husband of 55 hours decided it would be okay to break into her home on her long-awaited wedding day to Sam Asghari, and this had me HEATED! Long story short, The nimrod was scooped up by police and taken away to Azkaban, thank Merlin’s beard. But this will not be a piece about that fiasco! No ma’am! We’ve had a whole weekend (and then some) to digest this iconic wedding and I’ve got some favorite moments and opinions!
So, let’s get into it.
That’s My Opinion(s)!!
First, let's start with my opinions because I said so. The most talked-about attendees at the wedding were, no doubt, celebrities! The guest list consisted of the eternally iconic: Madonna, the ultimate BFFL: Paris Hilton, the girl-crush: Drew Barrymore, one of Brit’s favorite starlets and real-life Disney princess: Selena Gomez, legendary designer and “La madrina del vestido de la novia”: Donatella Versace (pronounced: VersaCHEH, not VersACE, or VersaCHI), and for some reason Maria Menounos…? I didn't even know they were friends if anything I thought Mario Lopez would’ve been a more obvious choice, but then again maybe not since Britney seems to have always had a crush on him!
Honorable mentions: Mathew ‘Daddy’ Rosengart, Willie Gomez, Zac Brazenas, Britney’s BFF (and envy of every Britney stan) Cade, Kathy Hilton, and Carter Reum.
Dream Guest List:
Look, the star-studded guest list is iconic but I would have loved to also see guests like;
Rihanna: Another one of Britney’s ultimate faves and girl-crush.
Cher: Because we all know Cher loves Britney and was super supportive during the trial (to my knowledge it was Cher’s mothers’ birthday that day.)
Adele: Because it’s Adele and Britney loves her, and Adele loves Britney.
Beyonce: I mean they seem like old friends every time they see each other so I would’ve just assumed she was going to be invited.
Lady Gaga: Because it’s Gaga, she presented her with the VMA Video Vanguard Award in 2011, and it would’ve added to the legendary girlies present.
Sharon and Kelly Osbourne: just because, but also because they have always expressed an immense love for Britney.
AND WHAT ABOUT FE?! I am longing for them to be reunited, as I know all Britney fans are. Felicia Culotta is truly a champion for Britney, and has consistently supported Britney and acted like more of a mom than Lynne ever has.
But alas, not my wedding nor was I the wedding planner. And yes, I know Britney wanted it to be private and intimate, which I totally respect – but can you imagine all of those amazing people being at her wedding, shedding tears of joy and dancing the night away with Brit?! Ugh, GAGGED.
The Look
Now, I’ve got to talk about the STYLING of the dress… as a stylist I just have to say it–and before you all bite my head off, I would like you guys to know that before I’m a gay Latinx American, I’m a Britney fan. I was not a fan of the styling, the dress *chef’s kiss* impeccable, as you would expect from Atelier Versace.
But, I would’ve styled her this way: no gloves (if the gloves were a must-have, I would’ve chosen at least over-the-elbow gloves). The choker needed to be replaced by the gorgeous diamond necklace from “La madrina de las joyas,” Stephanie Gottlieb.
Then there’s the hair. I would’ve kept it super simple, pulled back neatly and softly, in a romantic low-bun. If the low-bun was a no-go, then I would’ve had it been pinned back in controlled, loose waves behind the ear. (I’m not a hairstylist so I don’t know the correct terms for any hair-dos. Don’t come for me.)
For make-up, I would’ve just added a tad bit more glam, but still kept it overall natural. Because let’s face it, Britney is a stunning woman, con un rostro sublime!
I just remember thinking… ‘this is so edgy and so different… people are not ready.’
Okay, enough about my opinions. Hopefully, you all don’t decide to cancel me or revoke my membership in the Britney Army.
Now let's talk about my favorite things about the wedding!
The dress: Stunning, work of art, sublime, fit like a glove, beautifully detailed, understated-yet-impactful, and did you see that construction… PERFECTION. Donatella and the talented ateliers at Atelier Versace gave us all a wedding gown that encapsulated the essence of Britney and a gorgeous beacon of iconography the girls and gays will never forget!
The wedding date: Another thing I loved, and to me was also very Britney-esque was the date she chose for her wedding day… Thursday, June (6), 9… 2022. I mean, need I say more? 34+35… genius. Did she actually come up with that? I don’t know but a wedding on a Thursday… peculiar.
The horse and carriage: Moving on, I loved the Cinderella-style carriage, dripping in gorgeous roses drawn by a majestic white horse dressed in roses and a plumed horse bridle with golden hooves… I can tell this moment was inner-child Britney realizing one of her fairytale moments. If I’m being honest, it took ‘Radar horse’ to the next level.
The decor: Keeping with the roses theme, the wedding decor was stunning again… it had Britney written all over it, and I think that is why I loved it so much. I cannot get enough of this woman getting and doing what she damn pleases, as she should!
The wedding content: Something I couldn’t get enough of was the iconic content guests and Britney shared with us, all of the charming embraces, the dancing, the picture-perfect moment with Britney, Madonna, Paris, Selena, Drew and Donatella singing to Vogue before the picture was taken… I mean complete, instant, viral moments that I have loved watching over and over again and that will be engrained in our brains forever!
The drama of it all – you’re not on the list, sweetie: Another thing I loved… the complete absence of her family. I don’t think I’m the only one who was happy to NOT see them present. That’s all.
I’m not crying – you’re crying: But, for me, the most important moment of them all was seeing just how beamingly happy Brit was the entire time… it was so beautiful to see her flourish, live her best life, and get to marry a man that she loves whilst having those who are special to her be present to witness this moment. It truly was a wedding of weddings, for the sheer elation alone!
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury
Friends, now I want to hear from you. Do you have any favorite moments from Britney’s wedding? I don’t know, I might’ve left some out, or you probably caught something all of us missed?! Or heck, maybe you have opinions of your own; either way, share those with me down below, through Twitter, Instagram or Tiktok!
Sidenote: Upon writing this piece, I just found out Britney and Sam are currently moving to their new home! It truly is a new beginning, new era for our queen! I’m so ecstatic for her! Apparently, the home is in Calabasas and near the father of her children, (eye emoji) how do you think Kevin feels about this? Well, a source tells us that Kev–WHO THE HECK CARES WHAT HE FEELS ABOUT IT? I KNOW I DON’T. In my opinion, the move was probably to be closer to her boys, and that brings me even more joy for her! Of course, it’s also probably to start a new page in her life in a home fit for a queen, because the home is *chef’s kiss*. ☺️